HMMM. IT'S AMBIGUOUS AS TO WHICH IS THE CAUSE AND WHICH IS THE EFFECT.

IS IT: YOUR INTERNET BREAKS AND WANK COMMENCES, POSSIBLY DUE TO FANDOM BEING CUT OFF FROM YOUR CALMING AND RATIONAL INFLUENCE? OR IS IT: WANK COMMENCES AND BREAKS YOUR INTERNET, POSSIBLY BECAUSE YOUR INTERNET HAS A WANK FAILSAFE SHUTOFF VALVE DESIGNED TO PROTECT YOU FROM BEING CONTAMINATED BY TEH CRAZEH?

IT IS A PUZZLE TO WHICH I HAVE NO ANSWER.