elegy

[swatkat]

they keep leaving me:

So the most cheerful, enthusiastic member of the D2, the guy who cheerfully did every wacky thing imaginable and who, of all the fellows, new and old, appeared to enjoy House's brand of doctoring the most, woke up one morning and decided that he'd kill himself. And so he shot himself in the head.

For the record, Kal Penn was not fired, he asked to leave, because he'll now be working in the White House and is very excited about it—and Shore and co. just got away with their failure to give Kutner a single independent storyline in two seasons *and* got a lot of heartwrenching drama *and* managed to reduce the cast *and* managed to set up even more DRAMA! for the finale *and* make it fit with the season's overarching theme… That's how many birds in one stone now? Clever, show. Very clever.

We didn't expect Kutner to commit suicide. Neither did anyone else. In fact, if you think about his usual cheerful façade, it appears downright OOC. But cryptictac says it perfectly here:


Kutner was the one character we never got to know properly. But the fact that he was a character we never really got to know is, I think, a fantastic touch to his death - because he's a person no one really knew. He'd always struck me as a character who was always fairly detached and I never really understood why that was the case - but now I can fully appreciate why he was that way. He never let anybody in, despite being such a friendly person. He lived an extremely self-contained life. He came across as quite shallow at times. It was a very well-fitted mask that everybody believed, even House. And that right there was the symptom, except it was so atypical that it was easily dismissed as just personality quirks.

It was there to be seen, right there when he went back home and watched television after Amber's death, when he spoke so coolly about his parents being shot. It was there in the way we never heard about Cole again. It was there in his geekery, which we believed was only general fanboy behaviour but was, in fact, also a kind of escapism. And I don't believe for a minute that Shore and co. had it all planned, but in the end, they've tied it up pretty neatly. Why did Kutner have to die? What was missing? We'll never know. There's no simple explanation, as is the case with most people who take their own lives. We'll always wonder and everyone else will always wonder, and the only person who did know has carried it to his metaphorical grave.


and they don't tell me, they don't warn me:


I love how everyone reacted to the death: that's what made the episode for me. Foreman grieved alone, Thirteen tried desperately to hold herself together, Taub shut down, Cuddy held things together, Wilson found it a bit too close for comfort and had to be talked into going to House, and House, of course, tried to solve the puzzle. House prides himself as the rational man, and seeks a rational explanation for every problem. Except that there is no rational answer to why a guy would wake up and decide that was it, he'd had enough of life. So he comes up with every rational explanation imaginable, from something as ludicrous as murder to something very plausible, like conflict over his identity. And none of them fit. He fails to diagnose the disease. And the only one who could've answered the question is Kutner himself, who is dead.

We've seldom seen House so… lost in an episode, so utterly, visibly shaken by something. He does need people and he does care about them—his friends, of course, and his team. That's why he hired the new team. And if Thirteen is the one he's taken under his wing and Taub the worthy adversary-cum-punching bag, Kutner was the playmate, the only one who really appreciated and shared House's joy in crazy things and out-of-the-box thinking. We come back to what House said in the first episode of this season:

'You thought she would change?'
'She almost died. Because of that job. Yeah, I – I thought – '
'Almost dying changes nothing. Dying changes everything.'

And Kutner, like Ester Doyle, will always remain a puzzle, a mystery. Another one dead on House's watch.


that this is the last time i'll be seeing them:

Wilson and Cuddy, meanwhile, rocked my socks off in this episode. Wilson's initial detachment was in sharp contrast with Cuddy's desperate bid for damage control, which is in perfect character for both of them. But what I really, really loved was the small Wilson/Cuddy scene. Of course he can't face House at that moment, because it's faced him once again with his greatest fear: losing House. And of course Cuddy has little patience for Wilson's pain when House is in need, because Kutner's suicide has faced her with her greatest fear: which is, again, losing House (not that I had any doubt about it, but I loved that she pretty much articulated a similar emotion in 'The Softer Side'). She didn't go to Wilson because she was passing on something she should've done herself—I'm not really sure where people are even getting this from, since she was rather supportive of him throughout. She went to Wilson because Wilson is House's best friend. And I'm so very glad Wilson lashed out at her, calling her on her selfish need to cling to her House-whisperer—and then went and did just what she was hoping for, be there for House ('It's good to see you,' House said out loud), despite the undercurrent of unresolved issues. I see fandom is again debating this, but it's perfectly clear to me, and I'll simply reiterate what I said after 5.01:

But coming back to Cuddy and fandom's whining about Cuddy acting out of her desire not to lose her House-whisperer – well of course she doesn't want to lose her House-whisperer. Can you imagine being abandoned with a Wilsonless House? Can you imagine being abandoned with House by your partner in crime? But then there is this: 'You really don't feel ANY sense of guilt?' That's genuine bafflement there, because Cuddy cannot conceive of that degree of irresponsibility (House is lying, of course – as he'll admit later). It says a lot about who she is, and why she's taking up House and Wilson's case – because she cares about them, and she feels responsible.

But Wilson called her on it, and then went on to meet House, after lashing out at her. We've been seeing these glimpses of honesty between the two of them over the past two seasons (Cuddy lecturing him about Amber; 'He's the attending, you're family'; Wilson's dig in 5.01; Wilson's lecture in 5.14; and now in this episode), along with instances of being there for each other in times of distress (she was there for him in 'Wilson's Heart' and visited him when he wouldn't see House; he has been very supportive throughout her adoption period). If they ever had to pick, they would obviously, without question, pick House over the other person. But they are friends, and I'm endlessly fascinated by their complex dynamic.


Etc:

* Oh, Taub. You should've attended the funeral. Kutner was your only friend.

* I *loved* LE's acting in that little scene between Cuddy and Taub. Her weariness, and her offer for a ride... ♥

* That was a very strange funeral. But I wouldn't know how they're held in the US. That said, the smoke during the cremation gave me the creeps, like it always does—I've witnessed it firsthand, and it's horrible every time.

* I was teary in the last scene, with Taub's tears and House looking for clues in Kutner's photos.

* And I wonder if Thirteen was wearing the bracelet when they found Kutner, and she slipped on his blood, god.

* Is it time to crack reincarnation jokes now?

* Thirteen broke me in this episode. Fine acting, OW.

* Also, loved Foreman withdrawing.

* POTW was boring. I barely noticed them.

* House's little glance at Cuddy's hand when she placed it on his was cute.

* Strange, muted lighting, creating a sense of haunted emptiness. I approve.

* 'Living in misery sucks marginally less than dying in misery.' That, coming from House, is something.

* I fear for House in the next few episodes.

* I will really miss Kutner.

Comments

[katernater.livejournal.com]

All of this is spot-on brilliant.

And I'm with you: I was really impressed with Oliva Wilde's performance last night. I keep saying it to everyone who's seen the episode -- she really rallied toward the end of his season. What an incredible performance.

[plazmah.livejournal.com]

I am still really irked by this episode and I'm not sure why anymore. Oftentimes, people take their own lives and we never see it coming and yet I'm still having a hard time believing Kutner would shoot himself. Saying it's "out of character" isn't fair because it happens like that in real life. When a person takes their own life it can be sudden and shocking, but I kept fuming that Kutner's death was contrived and shoe-horned (even though I realize Penn left the show pretty abruptly). And even though I recognize that this show is all about House in the end, I'm not impressed with the way Kutner's death is just a vehicle for House to angst some more. The only thing that I actually liked was Foreman's memorial note on the website. It's so perfectly him and it makes me feel like I understand why he drew away from Thirteen to grieve.

Anyway, am writing Amber & Kutner fic. Oy vey.

[shutterbug-12.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure where others are getting the "Olivia sucks as an actress", because I could almost reach through the TV and touch her terror, and then how desperate she was to keep it together. I don't know what on earth people are talking about. I'm with you.

I don't quite agree that Cuddy is nearly as good a friend to Wilson as Wilson has been to her. Nevertheless, I'm also thrilled and proud of Wilson for calling her out, no bullshit. I also think that while she had a part in causing Wilson to go to House, I don't think she's all that responsible; Wilson didn't go until he knew he could handle it (or handle it as well as he could). I have no doubt he would have gone without Cuddy's request. And for that I also applaud him. He took care of himself first, made sure he was okay first, before rushing off to House to take care of his 'needs', and that shows a level of healthiness that hasn't gone away since the beginning of this season. I'm still glad to see it's there.

Loved the lighting: See my complete thoughts about that here, as well as the rest of my episode thinky-thoughts. (http://shutterbug-12.livejournal.com/127506.html#cutid1)

[esmeraldus-neo.livejournal.com]

I liked it, although a friend of mine had some criticism when I posted about it on my journal--the criticism amounted to she thought it was a shallow treatment of a suicide.

I don't think I agree completely. I think the episode might be subject to thoughtful criticism on that score, but I liked quite a bit of what you mention in your analysis.

[alex-kingston.livejournal.com]

I tend to ignore the deep stuff (especially now because I'm still numbed)but do know that everything you've said here just echoes what I think and everything else has given me a new perspective.

So on to the random:

- It really was a strange funeral. I've never seen a Hindu funeral done like that. I was thinking this must be some new age fusion type of thing. And yes smoke during cremations are creepy and just really really sad.

- And crack the reincarnation jokes. I need a good laugh :)

- The glancing at Cuddy's hand thing was cute. I love that the actors bother about these nuances.

- I will miss my professional defibrillist who love Star Wars and Harry Potter. We hadn't even had time to discover if he loved Battlestar yet!

[caesir.livejournal.com]

Late to the par... er funeral (too soon?)

Kutner: Sadly, I never cared much for him as a character. I never could quite buy him as a doctor, and no, it's not because I think of him as Kumar. Never watched White castle ;)

I was completely spoiled so I had my reservations about how this was going to play out and I was hoping that they weren't going for cheap shock value . The fact that KP had to leave helped and this and Shore and co. just got away with their failure to give Kutner a single independent storyline in two seasons *and* got a lot of heartwrenching drama *and* managed to reduce the cast *and* managed to set up even more DRAMA! for the finale *and* make it fit with the season's overarching theme… Hee. I don't think the suicide was necessary but they kinda made it work.

Wilson and Cuddy, meanwhile, rocked my socks off in this episode. Word ;)
But they are friends Of this I'm not sure. Don't get me wrong I have no doubt they care a lot about each other, and I've spend the whole season wanting to believe they're actually real friends... but I'm not really seeing it. It's probably a personal thing, to me a friendship has to be based on caring and desire to have that other person in your life while Wilson and Cuddy are basing their relationship on House(Cuddy) and Wilson's fraking savior complex. Even back in season 3, when they started getting close and Wilson took her out, it was because, according to him she worked hard and needed it. NEED of course being the main word on Wilson vocabulary. They do have real moments but from where I'm standing the whole thing it's not really working.

scene between Cuddy and Taub Hee, every time there's scene between them I flashback to "As Good as it Gets" and mentally tell Taub to hurry up and tell her that he loves her because Jack Nicholson is gonna show up demanding his table and throwing insults.

I fear for House in the next few episodes. I'm more concerned about Wilson, which is weird because I actually care about House a lot more

because Kutner's suicide has faced her with her greatest fear: which is, again, losing House Really? I mean she would be devastated, but I think her biggest fear would be losing Rachel. Speaking of Rachel, where is she? Come on TPTB I want a sweet scene between Cuddy and her kid before the finale. Specially noe that she is, what? 5 months old? Cuddy is happy with her baby girl and I want to see it, even 15 seconds of them cuddling and then you can have House in peril!! again or whatever, so the show doesn't get to fluffy ;)

[sk56.livejournal.com]

I still am not really watching this show (though I have seen several early episodes) but this piece of writing

Almost dying changes nothing. Dying changes everything.

seems to expand past its origins. I think I first saw it in one of your posts, and and glad to see it here again.