elegy

[swatkat]

they keep leaving me:

So the most cheerful, enthusiastic member of the D2, the guy who cheerfully did every wacky thing imaginable and who, of all the fellows, new and old, appeared to enjoy House's brand of doctoring the most, woke up one morning and decided that he'd kill himself. And so he shot himself in the head.

For the record, Kal Penn was not fired, he asked to leave, because he'll now be working in the White House and is very excited about it—and Shore and co. just got away with their failure to give Kutner a single independent storyline in two seasons *and* got a lot of heartwrenching drama *and* managed to reduce the cast *and* managed to set up even more DRAMA! for the finale *and* make it fit with the season's overarching theme… That's how many birds in one stone now? Clever, show. Very clever.

We didn't expect Kutner to commit suicide. Neither did anyone else. In fact, if you think about his usual cheerful façade, it appears downright OOC. But cryptictac says it perfectly here:


Kutner was the one character we never got to know properly. But the fact that he was a character we never really got to know is, I think, a fantastic touch to his death - because he's a person no one really knew. He'd always struck me as a character who was always fairly detached and I never really understood why that was the case - but now I can fully appreciate why he was that way. He never let anybody in, despite being such a friendly person. He lived an extremely self-contained life. He came across as quite shallow at times. It was a very well-fitted mask that everybody believed, even House. And that right there was the symptom, except it was so atypical that it was easily dismissed as just personality quirks.

It was there to be seen, right there when he went back home and watched television after Amber's death, when he spoke so coolly about his parents being shot. It was there in the way we never heard about Cole again. It was there in his geekery, which we believed was only general fanboy behaviour but was, in fact, also a kind of escapism. And I don't believe for a minute that Shore and co. had it all planned, but in the end, they've tied it up pretty neatly. Why did Kutner have to die? What was missing? We'll never know. There's no simple explanation, as is the case with most people who take their own lives. We'll always wonder and everyone else will always wonder, and the only person who did know has carried it to his metaphorical grave.


and they don't tell me, they don't warn me:


I love how everyone reacted to the death: that's what made the episode for me. Foreman grieved alone, Thirteen tried desperately to hold herself together, Taub shut down, Cuddy held things together, Wilson found it a bit too close for comfort and had to be talked into going to House, and House, of course, tried to solve the puzzle. House prides himself as the rational man, and seeks a rational explanation for every problem. Except that there is no rational answer to why a guy would wake up and decide that was it, he'd had enough of life. So he comes up with every rational explanation imaginable, from something as ludicrous as murder to something very plausible, like conflict over his identity. And none of them fit. He fails to diagnose the disease. And the only one who could've answered the question is Kutner himself, who is dead.

We've seldom seen House so… lost in an episode, so utterly, visibly shaken by something. He does need people and he does care about them—his friends, of course, and his team. That's why he hired the new team. And if Thirteen is the one he's taken under his wing and Taub the worthy adversary-cum-punching bag, Kutner was the playmate, the only one who really appreciated and shared House's joy in crazy things and out-of-the-box thinking. We come back to what House said in the first episode of this season:

'You thought she would change?'
'She almost died. Because of that job. Yeah, I – I thought – '
'Almost dying changes nothing. Dying changes everything.'

And Kutner, like Ester Doyle, will always remain a puzzle, a mystery. Another one dead on House's watch.


that this is the last time i'll be seeing them:

Wilson and Cuddy, meanwhile, rocked my socks off in this episode. Wilson's initial detachment was in sharp contrast with Cuddy's desperate bid for damage control, which is in perfect character for both of them. But what I really, really loved was the small Wilson/Cuddy scene. Of course he can't face House at that moment, because it's faced him once again with his greatest fear: losing House. And of course Cuddy has little patience for Wilson's pain when House is in need, because Kutner's suicide has faced her with her greatest fear: which is, again, losing House (not that I had any doubt about it, but I loved that she pretty much articulated a similar emotion in 'The Softer Side'). She didn't go to Wilson because she was passing on something she should've done herself—I'm not really sure where people are even getting this from, since she was rather supportive of him throughout. She went to Wilson because Wilson is House's best friend. And I'm so very glad Wilson lashed out at her, calling her on her selfish need to cling to her House-whisperer—and then went and did just what she was hoping for, be there for House ('It's good to see you,' House said out loud), despite the undercurrent of unresolved issues. I see fandom is again debating this, but it's perfectly clear to me, and I'll simply reiterate what I said after 5.01:

But coming back to Cuddy and fandom's whining about Cuddy acting out of her desire not to lose her House-whisperer – well of course she doesn't want to lose her House-whisperer. Can you imagine being abandoned with a Wilsonless House? Can you imagine being abandoned with House by your partner in crime? But then there is this: 'You really don't feel ANY sense of guilt?' That's genuine bafflement there, because Cuddy cannot conceive of that degree of irresponsibility (House is lying, of course – as he'll admit later). It says a lot about who she is, and why she's taking up House and Wilson's case – because she cares about them, and she feels responsible.

But Wilson called her on it, and then went on to meet House, after lashing out at her. We've been seeing these glimpses of honesty between the two of them over the past two seasons (Cuddy lecturing him about Amber; 'He's the attending, you're family'; Wilson's dig in 5.01; Wilson's lecture in 5.14; and now in this episode), along with instances of being there for each other in times of distress (she was there for him in 'Wilson's Heart' and visited him when he wouldn't see House; he has been very supportive throughout her adoption period). If they ever had to pick, they would obviously, without question, pick House over the other person. But they are friends, and I'm endlessly fascinated by their complex dynamic.


Etc:

* Oh, Taub. You should've attended the funeral. Kutner was your only friend.

* I *loved* LE's acting in that little scene between Cuddy and Taub. Her weariness, and her offer for a ride... ♥

* That was a very strange funeral. But I wouldn't know how they're held in the US. That said, the smoke during the cremation gave me the creeps, like it always does—I've witnessed it firsthand, and it's horrible every time.

* I was teary in the last scene, with Taub's tears and House looking for clues in Kutner's photos.

* And I wonder if Thirteen was wearing the bracelet when they found Kutner, and she slipped on his blood, god.

* Is it time to crack reincarnation jokes now?

* Thirteen broke me in this episode. Fine acting, OW.

* Also, loved Foreman withdrawing.

* POTW was boring. I barely noticed them.

* House's little glance at Cuddy's hand when she placed it on his was cute.

* Strange, muted lighting, creating a sense of haunted emptiness. I approve.

* 'Living in misery sucks marginally less than dying in misery.' That, coming from House, is something.

* I fear for House in the next few episodes.

* I will really miss Kutner.

Comments

Re: Pt II

[shutterbug-12.livejournal.com]

All well-stated.

I, personally, wasn't strictly speaking of Cuddy being a friend to Wilson just in this scene, and I'm going to split hairs again here, but I don't believe that 'this' was a reference just to Kutner's death. I agree when you say that Wilson wasn't as upset about Kutner as others seem to think. Wilson has been dealing with as heavy a set of problems as Cuddy has--his brother, trying to get over Amber enough to even attempt a new relationship, not fall back into the trap of rushing off to House whenever he calls, or might call. I do love what you said in the first paragraph of the second comment, and I'm not trying to say Wilson has it worse than Cuddy, because, really, I'd say they're about even in the weight of their problems and loneliness and pain. But Wilson, as you say, is a caretaker in many ways, and that's how he acts in his friendships, too, whereas Cuddy either can't or won't.

I think Cuddy reacted decently, and I have nothing against it. I think her reaction signaled that he was right about that, and she took it with dignity and adult understanding. But I can't agree that, other than that moment just before Amber's death, Cuddy has been all that great a friend to Wilson. The rest of the series just hasn't shown that, and if it weren't for House, I think Wilson would be just some other employee to her. That's not to say that, if it weren't for House, Cuddy wouldn't just be a boss to Wilson (which I think is probably true). But this: And that's the thing with Wilson—he takes care of people, but at the end of the day, there's no one who will take care of him. That is true, and I agree, and I think that was the point. Wilson will take care of people--it's something he needs to do, for whatever messed up reason--and, in his world, Cuddy has been included in 'people', more than he's been included in hers. At least it's seemed that way to me.

Cuddy says 'I'm sorry for you' and hires grief counsellors. Except with House lately, but as you say (and I agree), she (and Wilson) will chose House first, but whereas Cuddy's approach to House is far more personal than with anyone else, Wilson's isn't as uneven. It's not perfect, no way. But I think Wilson does a better job at the business of caring in general, and is capable of keeping a tight perspective and awareness on things more than Cuddy, so he comes across a little more even sometimes. I don't doubt that Cuddy cares about Wilson, but I don't think it's been reciprocated at the same level, and this might be because their methods are different.

Re: Pt II

[swatkat24.livejournal.com]

But I can't agree that, other than that moment just before Amber's death, Cuddy has been all that great a friend to Wilson.

Oh, but I have to split hairs again, although I think we are actually on the same page here. *g* I don't think Cuddy hasn't been a 'good friend' to Wilson in the past. I don't think she has been a 'friend' to him *at all* prior to the end of S3-beginning of S4. Colleagues. Boss/employee. Co-conspirators. But not *friends* as such. The first time we saw them have personal-ish interaction was the awkward date, and then the equally awkward Wilson walking in on Cuddy crying in her office in 'Finding Judas'. In my personal fanon, that's when Wilson settles on her as one of the 'people' in his larger ambit, as you said, because Wilson is incapable of not taking care of someone (whom he perceives of being) in need. Again, in my personal fanon, their relationship has grown to a 'friendship' of sorts in the past couple of years.

Sometimes we may lose perspective on how ruthless Cuddy can be, but canon has been very consistent in this portrayal of hers. And if she had no qualms about sacrificing him for House in the Vogler arc and hanging him dry in the Tritter arc, it's because of this ruthlessness that Wilson is not very good at (though he *can* be ruthless in his own way, but that's another discussion). The most interesting question to me is: if a situation like Tritter/Vogler were to arise again, would Cuddy protect Wilson, now that they are closer? I suspect that she would probably hesitate before she actually took a step like she did in the Vogler arc, or at least try to protect them both, but in the end the choice would always be House. And they both know it.

But I think Wilson does a better job at the business of caring in general, and is capable of keeping a tight perspective and awareness on things more than Cuddy, so he comes across a little more even sometimes. I don't doubt that Cuddy cares about Wilson, but I don't think it's been reciprocated at the same level, and this might be because their methods are different.

I disagree about Wilson's sense of perspective, but I agree otherwise: Wilson is way better at caring than Cuddy will ever be. And it's not as though Cuddy doesn't care - but caring for someone, and translating that into some concrete action that *shows* you care are two different things. The second comes very naturally to Wilson; not so much to Cuddy. The only exception is House, because House is the only person on the show with whom her personal/professional lines have been thoroughly blurred until no one has any idea where they were to begin with. Wilson's treatment of House isn't uneven, because Wilson doesn't have to straddle the two worlds of being House's boss and being House's friend.