swatkat

Title: No Constellations Here
Fandom: Legend of the Seeker
Character(s)/Pairing: Cara/Kahlan
Words: ~4,300
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me. I will never make money off this.
A/N: Many thanks to hibernate and agonyoftheblank for being awesome. Title from Lynn Davies' Before The Phoenicians: I find no constellations here, /do not whisper names to the white fires. Please note that this story involves some Agiel-induced violence.



Summary: "Zedd leaves camp at dawn, taking along with him, it seems, the last shreds of joy from their lives, leaving her alone with her thoughts—and Cara"

[Kahlan and Cara deal with being ~alone together; takes off from 2.09, 'Dark']


( Mord-Sith don't spar )

Title: I do not live in this house
Fandom: Legend of the Seeker
Character(s)/Pairing: Cara/Dahlia; Cara-centric
Words: 4940
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Four things that did not happen to Cara.

A/N: hibernate is a superstar for beta-reading and hand-holding. Some of you have probably seen the first part of this here. Title is from Pablo Neruda, 'Waltz.'



( Cara has many feelings )

I ignored things I was supposed to do (like, you know, study) and watched the last few episodes of House, so I'm all caught up now! I'll talk about it later, brain a little fried at the moment. Meanwhile, have a snippet of the Merlin-HP fusion AU I have been threatening to write for a while now, just to remind myself that I can still write and should get back to it again. With my sincerest apologies to JKR.


*

( in which Morgana eats cupcakes and Arthur cannot Apparate; 860 words or so )

Apparently this is too long for one comment.

For the femslash_today porn battle. Cara/(Head!)Kahlan, post-Torn AU, R, 726 words, for the prompt: Legend of the Seeker, Cara/Kahlan, confession. Title from 'The Masochism Tango'.

You can raise welts like nobody else

+

( Cara would prefer if Kahlan were herself, but Cara thinks she understands this one more )

Ficlet dump.

Title: and my fingernails are long enough
Fandom: Merlin
Pairing: Arthur/Morgana
Rating: NC-17
Summary: 'I'm not your dog,' he tells her.

A/N: Modern AU, for the kinkme_merlin prompt: 'Arthur/Morgana - stepsibling AU where Arthur's father marries Morgana's mother. ( rest of it under cut )

, originally posted here; 516 words.

Please be warned about the step-siblings part.

( fetch )


Title: to honour you with shells and coloured bottles
Fandom: Merlin
Pairing: Gwen/Morgana/Lancelot
Rating: NC-17
Summary: It seems like a good idea at the time.

A/N: Modern AU, for the kinkme_merlin prompt 'Gwen/Lancelot/Morgana, falling in sync', ( rest of it under cut )

', originally posted here; 650 words.


( it seems like a good idea at the time )

Note: Titles are from Leonard Cohen, Song of Patience.

Somewhere between considering realism in unicorn!crack!fic and plotting out cuddy_fest space pirates!au!fic and rewatching The Labyrinth of Gedref for the five hundredth time to perfect my knowledge of unicorn lore in Merlin (for the record, my favourite scene in the episode is not the 'I WILL DIE FOR YOU' of TRUE DESTINY but the one where Morgana asks for food and Arthur and Merlin smirk, because obviously they're going to feed her the rat stew now), my brain short-circuited and is currently stuck in crack!AU!mode. I cannot function normally anymore. I can't write, I can't think.

For instance, it feels perfectly normal that House 6.03 should call for the AU where House and Wilson are famous television chefs, possibly currently hosting something like Top Chef, where the Ducklings and D2 are competitors (SPOILER ALERT: AMBER WINS). Cuddy, of course, is the harangued executive producer, struggling to keep the show alive against all odds, because Edward Vogler, the Evil Network Boss, wants to cancel the show in favour of a reality show featuring Speidi.

It feels perfectly normal to read this (very highly recommended) BSG fusion AU (if you're familiar with both 'verses) and think how Uther/Arthur/Morgana = = Bill/Lee/Kara and then imagine the AU where Galactica crew find Earth—and Camelot. And Uther is all 'MAAAGIC! I KEEL YOU!', before Roslin takes matters into her hands ('You're being unreasonable, Your Majesty. Now why don't we have a… rational discussion?'). Arthur, after initial wariness, is very pleased to meet one Mr. Lee Adama. ( and then they bond over Daddy Issues and Manpain )

And, and, the Quidditch fusion AU, where Morgana Le Fay is Seeker for the Holyhead Harpies (even though her name or her surname does not begin with a 'G', and no, her middle name doesn't either, and NO SHE IS NOT CHANGING HER NAME). Her rivalry with Arthur Pendragon (who also happens to be her stepbrother)—currently Beater and Captain of the Montrose Magpies—is legendary, ranging back from their Hogwarts days (Arthur took great pleasure in aiming every Bludger at Morgana's head; however, Slytherin usually won). The Harpies, however, lost their British and Irish League as well as their European League matches to the Magpies the previous season, much to Morgana's dismay (which was further increased when the Quidditch Today only printed a tiny, five-page interview of hers and DID AN ENTIRE PHOTOSHOOT WITH ARTHUR). Meanwhile, Morgana may or may not be harbouring longstanding… feelings for Guinevere Smith, the Daily Prophet's Quidditch correspondent (their unlikely friendship did not endear Morgana to some of her more prejudiced Pureblood housemates, but frankly, she did not—does not—give a damn), and Arthur may or may not have struck up a sort of friendship with Merlin (not the heir of Merlin, no really, that's not funny), Gaius'—the Magpies' team physician and his father's old friend—boy genius assistant, whose hobby is designing the perfect broom. Will the Harpies avenge their losses? Will Morgana be able to profess her complete, undying love for Gwen? Will Arthur get over his Daddy Issues (Uther Pendragon, former captain of the Magpies; ten straight wins in the British and Irish League, plus two European titles; England's star Seeker; current President of the national selection board; owner of 80 per cent Magpies shares)? Will Merlin design the perfect broom?

( this one practically writes itself )

See what I mean?

Help.

In honour of new Merlin, have a snippet from a longer story that is currently undecided between being angst&doom or OT4 adventure. Gwen&Morgana, mostly pre-series.

( snippet )

For femslash09.

Title: Clouds Got In My Way
Author: swatkat24
Recipient: llyfrgell
Fandom: The Devil Wears Prada (movie)
Pairing: Emily/Andy (Emily/Serena)
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 5000

Disclaimer: The characters are not mine.

Summary: Emily goes to Paris. Again.


( So many things I would have done, but clouds got in my way. )

Fic posted for Kutner Fest at kutner_love: The Next Great Adventure, 1472 words, PG-13; No spoilers for the show itself; spoilers till the end of the Harry Potter series. Also some familiarity with Harry Potter will probably be helpful. Many, many thanks to slytherin_heart for helping make this better; the rest of the errors - and anvils - are my fault.

Summary: After all, to the well-organised mind, death is but the next great adventure.

*

Pina Bausch died.

Obligatory post-finale fic.

Title: Thaw
Fandom: House, M.D
Character(s): Cuddy, Wilson, House
Rating: PG
Summary: She fires him, then, her heart an ice sculpture: ornate and perfectly carved.

A/N: For the housefic50 prompt: #18 Consequences, 500 words. Set during and after 5.24, Both Sides Now.

( thaw is made of aching )