elegy

[swatkat]

they keep leaving me:

So the most cheerful, enthusiastic member of the D2, the guy who cheerfully did every wacky thing imaginable and who, of all the fellows, new and old, appeared to enjoy House's brand of doctoring the most, woke up one morning and decided that he'd kill himself. And so he shot himself in the head.

For the record, Kal Penn was not fired, he asked to leave, because he'll now be working in the White House and is very excited about it—and Shore and co. just got away with their failure to give Kutner a single independent storyline in two seasons *and* got a lot of heartwrenching drama *and* managed to reduce the cast *and* managed to set up even more DRAMA! for the finale *and* make it fit with the season's overarching theme… That's how many birds in one stone now? Clever, show. Very clever.

We didn't expect Kutner to commit suicide. Neither did anyone else. In fact, if you think about his usual cheerful façade, it appears downright OOC. But cryptictac says it perfectly here:


Kutner was the one character we never got to know properly. But the fact that he was a character we never really got to know is, I think, a fantastic touch to his death - because he's a person no one really knew. He'd always struck me as a character who was always fairly detached and I never really understood why that was the case - but now I can fully appreciate why he was that way. He never let anybody in, despite being such a friendly person. He lived an extremely self-contained life. He came across as quite shallow at times. It was a very well-fitted mask that everybody believed, even House. And that right there was the symptom, except it was so atypical that it was easily dismissed as just personality quirks.

It was there to be seen, right there when he went back home and watched television after Amber's death, when he spoke so coolly about his parents being shot. It was there in the way we never heard about Cole again. It was there in his geekery, which we believed was only general fanboy behaviour but was, in fact, also a kind of escapism. And I don't believe for a minute that Shore and co. had it all planned, but in the end, they've tied it up pretty neatly. Why did Kutner have to die? What was missing? We'll never know. There's no simple explanation, as is the case with most people who take their own lives. We'll always wonder and everyone else will always wonder, and the only person who did know has carried it to his metaphorical grave.


and they don't tell me, they don't warn me:


I love how everyone reacted to the death: that's what made the episode for me. Foreman grieved alone, Thirteen tried desperately to hold herself together, Taub shut down, Cuddy held things together, Wilson found it a bit too close for comfort and had to be talked into going to House, and House, of course, tried to solve the puzzle. House prides himself as the rational man, and seeks a rational explanation for every problem. Except that there is no rational answer to why a guy would wake up and decide that was it, he'd had enough of life. So he comes up with every rational explanation imaginable, from something as ludicrous as murder to something very plausible, like conflict over his identity. And none of them fit. He fails to diagnose the disease. And the only one who could've answered the question is Kutner himself, who is dead.

We've seldom seen House so… lost in an episode, so utterly, visibly shaken by something. He does need people and he does care about them—his friends, of course, and his team. That's why he hired the new team. And if Thirteen is the one he's taken under his wing and Taub the worthy adversary-cum-punching bag, Kutner was the playmate, the only one who really appreciated and shared House's joy in crazy things and out-of-the-box thinking. We come back to what House said in the first episode of this season:

'You thought she would change?'
'She almost died. Because of that job. Yeah, I – I thought – '
'Almost dying changes nothing. Dying changes everything.'

And Kutner, like Ester Doyle, will always remain a puzzle, a mystery. Another one dead on House's watch.


that this is the last time i'll be seeing them:

Wilson and Cuddy, meanwhile, rocked my socks off in this episode. Wilson's initial detachment was in sharp contrast with Cuddy's desperate bid for damage control, which is in perfect character for both of them. But what I really, really loved was the small Wilson/Cuddy scene. Of course he can't face House at that moment, because it's faced him once again with his greatest fear: losing House. And of course Cuddy has little patience for Wilson's pain when House is in need, because Kutner's suicide has faced her with her greatest fear: which is, again, losing House (not that I had any doubt about it, but I loved that she pretty much articulated a similar emotion in 'The Softer Side'). She didn't go to Wilson because she was passing on something she should've done herself—I'm not really sure where people are even getting this from, since she was rather supportive of him throughout. She went to Wilson because Wilson is House's best friend. And I'm so very glad Wilson lashed out at her, calling her on her selfish need to cling to her House-whisperer—and then went and did just what she was hoping for, be there for House ('It's good to see you,' House said out loud), despite the undercurrent of unresolved issues. I see fandom is again debating this, but it's perfectly clear to me, and I'll simply reiterate what I said after 5.01:

But coming back to Cuddy and fandom's whining about Cuddy acting out of her desire not to lose her House-whisperer – well of course she doesn't want to lose her House-whisperer. Can you imagine being abandoned with a Wilsonless House? Can you imagine being abandoned with House by your partner in crime? But then there is this: 'You really don't feel ANY sense of guilt?' That's genuine bafflement there, because Cuddy cannot conceive of that degree of irresponsibility (House is lying, of course – as he'll admit later). It says a lot about who she is, and why she's taking up House and Wilson's case – because she cares about them, and she feels responsible.

But Wilson called her on it, and then went on to meet House, after lashing out at her. We've been seeing these glimpses of honesty between the two of them over the past two seasons (Cuddy lecturing him about Amber; 'He's the attending, you're family'; Wilson's dig in 5.01; Wilson's lecture in 5.14; and now in this episode), along with instances of being there for each other in times of distress (she was there for him in 'Wilson's Heart' and visited him when he wouldn't see House; he has been very supportive throughout her adoption period). If they ever had to pick, they would obviously, without question, pick House over the other person. But they are friends, and I'm endlessly fascinated by their complex dynamic.


Etc:

* Oh, Taub. You should've attended the funeral. Kutner was your only friend.

* I *loved* LE's acting in that little scene between Cuddy and Taub. Her weariness, and her offer for a ride... ♥

* That was a very strange funeral. But I wouldn't know how they're held in the US. That said, the smoke during the cremation gave me the creeps, like it always does—I've witnessed it firsthand, and it's horrible every time.

* I was teary in the last scene, with Taub's tears and House looking for clues in Kutner's photos.

* And I wonder if Thirteen was wearing the bracelet when they found Kutner, and she slipped on his blood, god.

* Is it time to crack reincarnation jokes now?

* Thirteen broke me in this episode. Fine acting, OW.

* Also, loved Foreman withdrawing.

* POTW was boring. I barely noticed them.

* House's little glance at Cuddy's hand when she placed it on his was cute.

* Strange, muted lighting, creating a sense of haunted emptiness. I approve.

* 'Living in misery sucks marginally less than dying in misery.' That, coming from House, is something.

* I fear for House in the next few episodes.

* I will really miss Kutner.

Comments

[swatkat24.livejournal.com]

Talking? What is this thing you speak of?

I heart the dysfunctionality. It makes me want to draw hearts around them and shower sparkles on them.

And hey, I have no plans of watching that movie right now. I know it's a good movie, and have even made a couple of half-hearted attempts to watch when HBO used to air it very frequently, but I never quite got into it.

[caesir.livejournal.com]

Talking?? Completely overrated

It makes me want to draw hearts around them and shower sparkles on them. Hee. Is it stupid that I imagined the trio's reaction to this? I mean Wilson would probably let you, specially if he felt that it may help you. House would insult you and quite possibly hit you with his cane and Cuddy would be all "I don't have time for this" until she realizes she may as well get use to it because once Rachel hits kindergarten this will actually happen to her (In my defense I haven't slept and is 7:30 am here)

It's a good movie, but still was totally overrated when it was released.

[swatkat24.livejournal.com]

I mean Wilson would probably let you, specially if he felt that it may help you. House would insult you and quite possibly hit you with his cane and Cuddy would be all "I don't have time for this" until she realizes she may as well get use to it because once Rachel hits kindergarten this will actually happen to her

Hee! I can just imagine House's horror if someone tries to draw hearts around him and shower sparkles on him. I do imagine Wilson would be more amenable to the idea, especially if I make him hold my hand and cry to him about my sad, sad life first. Cuddy isn't a sparkles person, really, but she'd probably secretly like it when she realizes that in a few years she'll be receiving similar things from Rachel. Aww. The cute, it kills me.

[swatkat24.livejournal.com]

Also I want Rachel to grow up a little and present House a sparkly stick-figure portrait of himself, complete with the tiny hearts.

[caesir.livejournal.com]

Ha!! LMAO picturng House's and Cuddy's reaction to that.

In a wa, I would love it if older Rachel didn't actually like House. I think it would really bother him.

[swatkat24.livejournal.com]

Yes! And he would secretly wish to win her over, if only have an ally in his eternal struggle against his Dark Overlord.

[caesir.livejournal.com]

His Dark Overlod *snort* You know, if the Devil looked like Cuddiy satanism would be much more popular.

But Rachel would be totally onto him, so she'd use him to get candy (because Cuddy is going to be a pain in the ass when it comes to sugar intake) and completely play House.

[swatkat24.livejournal.com]

Hell, *I'd* convert. *g*

But Rachel would be totally onto him, so she'd use him to get candy (because Cuddy is going to be a pain in the ass when it comes to sugar intake) and completely play House.

*is ded from cute*