Things *not* to write in a sex scene

[swatkat]

"...her warm mouth was dripping with saliva..."

Oh, way to go with the dog imagery!

"...he tipped her skull towards himself..."

What is she, Skeletor?

I'm not making these up.

Comments

[nell65.livejournal.com]

Skeletor. *snerk*

One of our previous senators looks like Skeletor

[sk56.livejournal.com]

Slade Gorton.

http://bioguide.congress.gov/scripts/biodisplay.pl?index=G000333

Senator Skeletor

Oh my...

[swatkat24.livejournal.com]

He *does* look like Skeletor. Only less evil. And more human.

Swatkat

That's about right.

[sk56.livejournal.com]

He's too conservative for my tastes, but he did do more harm than good as a senator. Though I'm glad we replaced him with a liberal woman.

*Urk*

[catsma.livejournal.com]

I don't even want to know where you found these. Ewwwww....

Hee

[swatkat24.livejournal.com]

Don't worry, I've lost the link - so I wouldn't be able to share even if I wanted to. *g*

Swatkat

[sideofzen.livejournal.com]

The first one is particularly disgusting. =P

[jaybee65.livejournal.com]

Eek! Eek! Eek!

That is all, thank you.

Saliva as erotica???

[sing2.livejournal.com]

ha ha ha
thanks for a laugh

Heh

[swatkat24.livejournal.com]

It wasn't nearly as funny when I first read it. It mostly had me going "Oh ewwwww!"

Swatkat

[plazmah.livejournal.com]

"...he tipped her skull towards himself..."

I imagine someone doffing their cranium like a tophat, and saying "Top of the mornin' to ye!"

[swatkat24.livejournal.com]

I imagine someone doffing their cranium like a tophat, and saying "Top of the mornin' to ye!"

Bwahahaha!

I found 'skull' in yet another story. I mean, what is it with some authors? Skull isn't sexy, people. *headdesk*

Swatkat

[plazmah.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Like, "She stroked his pale, smooth skull" is not something I find particularly romantic.

skulls -- no

[sk56.livejournal.com]

but bald seems to be a big yes for many people, so I suppose it's skull + skin = yes.

Bald is pretty

[swatkat24.livejournal.com]

but only if the person is someone like Lex Luthor (Smallville). But I could do without the descriptions of the sun shining on his head.

Swatkat

[msgenevieve.livejournal.com]

I have to know - are both these examples from the same story?

[swatkat24.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, yes. In two consecutive lines. If I hadn't lost the link, I'd have sent it to you. *g*

Swatkat

really?

[sk56.livejournal.com]

maybe they're getting thier ideas from Gray's Anatomy.

[monanotlisa.livejournal.com]

BWAH!!

& :-P

[swatkat24.livejournal.com]

Yes, this is certainly one of those thing that leave you speechless. And snarky. ;)

Swatkat