Bromanian rhapsody
Dec. 16th, 2011 01:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
swatkatI was thinking about how much I love Will and Kalinda's friendship in TGW. I have a weakness for male/female friendships that take centrestage, so hard to find under ordinary circumstances. And besides, it's easily one of the best things to have come out of the Alicia/Kalinda breakup arc in S2, to the point where it's hard to imagine the show now without Will and Kalinda being bros.
Will and Kalinda first have a truly intimate moment at the end of 2.20, with Will watching Alicia on the television and Kalinda declaring her love for Alicia—er, that is to say, urging Will to declare his love for Alicia,
Kalinda: You should tell her how fantastic she is. [Will snorts slightly at that]
Will: She knows. [camera pans to Kalinda's face]
Kalinda: You should tell her. People like to be told. [Will swivels around to look at her]
Will: You're in a weird mood.
Kalinda: Yeah, I am.
It's hard not to read the scene as Kalinda articulating, in her own way, how much she cares about Alicia, even when you take off your slash glasses. More importantly, it sets the tone for almost every Will and Kalinda heart-to-heart that will follow: the subject of conversation is frequently Alicia, with Kalinda encouraging Will to talk about his feelings about Alicia, to pursue what he wants with her. Kalinda sets the tone of the conversation, always shifting the focus back to Will when he occasionally pries, and Will lets her, with some friendly ribbing ("Suddenly this is about me?", 2.22) or an observation like (MY FAVOURITE) "At some point Kalinda, you're going to have to confide in someone." The latter is also in 2.22, shortly after Kalinda informs him that she's not leaving L&G, and after she rebuffs his attempts to clarify as to whether her decision to leave had anything to do with Alicia; the implication is clear—Will is willing to listen, should Kalinda choose to talk, although he's not going to demand that she talk now or push her in any way. He is willing to be a confidante, even if it is only to listen to Kalinda telling him how much she doesn't need a confidante ("No, I don't. You know what I discovered? I never have to confide in anyone."), that she's a ~lone wolf. On the surface it's just a rebuff and Kalinda being her usual closed-off self, but that's not it: it's a surprisingly emotional declaration, especially coming from Kalinda. It's an expression of her frustration with people and friendships, and the fact that she has screwed up something that meant so much to her. That she would make such an emotional declaration to Will at all is significant—it's why come S3 they're still fast friends, drinking together after work and talking about their feelings (well, mostly Will's). It's an easy friendship, with clearly a lot of history and firm faith that the other person has their back.
The last bit again is important, because both Will and Kalinda are the kind of people who put a lot of stock in 'having someone's back'. It is—and I'm not sure if I can express myself very clearly here—a certain kind of a 'bro' ethic, where words are given and kept and backs are watched and debts are paid and honoured. It's an integral part of who Will is (think, for instance, of his anger when his friend the judge was exposed in S1, or his entire Wednesday night basketball affair with his male buddies), in sharp contrast with his smooth, amoral lawyerly self (also integral to who he is). And on any other show, Will's 'bro' would be a man, but TGW isn't any other show and Kalinda isn't any other female character, embodying, frequently, character traits that would be ascribed to a male character (stoic, silent, ~mysterious with a ~past, and so on). Kalinda, of course, is less demonstrative (the fact that it's usually Will's feelings that get discussed is one of the things I love best about their friendship), but all you have to do is consider a scene like the one in 3.08, where Kalinda urges Will to ask for her help,
Kalinda: Then use me.
Will: Thought you were an island these days. [note: referencing Kalinda's frustrated declaration in 2.22]
Kalinda: Hmm, no man is an island.
…
Kalinda: Okay, then ask for my help.
Will: [looks conflicted and then smiles prettily] I feel like hugging you.
Kalinda: No, just… Just ask for my help. [Will nods]
All Will has to do is ask, and Kalinda will have his back. It's in sharp contrast with her own I-will-use-your-feelings-for-me-and-throw-you-under-a-bus self (a prominent theme this season since it was Cary’s principal complaint against her), but that's precisely why their friendship works: they're very similar in that they both possess these oddly self-contradictory traits, and they understand each other. I think it's best demonstrated in that brilliant scene in the bar in 3.01, right after Kalinda claims that she’s 'fine' (when Will says that she needs a friend, or a dog),
Will: We're not like normal people, are we.
Kalinda: What are normal people like?
Will: Emotional.
Kalinda: You're emotional.
Will: No. Sometimes I'm in the middle of an emotion, and I just look at myself and realise, I’m not feeling anything. I just like acting like someone who feels something.
Kalinda: You wanna stop acting and actually feel?
Will: Yeah.
Kalinda: Yeah. [and then she punches him]
Will: Ow.
Kalinda: That's what it feels like.
Will is being emo about how emotionally stilted he is. He is having feelings about his lack of feelings. It's ridiculous, but knowing what we know of both Will and Kalinda, knowing that the playful punch is Kalinda's way of replying that actually feeling things for people instead of simulation hurts, it just works.
It's precisely the kind of thing Will cannot bring himself to tell Alicia—what if she doesn't understand? It's one of the many things he cannot bring himself to tell her, as we see in S3; as though Will fears Alicia's pure ears cannot bear such scurrilous talk. Kalinda is different. Kalinda is like him. Kalinda isn't going to judge him and break his heart.
It is actually quite unfair to Alicia, but that's another thing Will and Kalinda have in common: Alicia is their unexpected Achilles' heel. They're both slightly in awe of Alicia—her strength, her warmth, her passion, her moral compass. What they see as her 'goodness', this incredible, unattainable thing they cannot possibly hope to possess (or even want, on most days). This was evident in the Alicia/Kalinda break-up arc; in 2.18, for instance, where Alicia has that telephone conversation with the psycho murderer and Kalinda is listening in,
KILLER: I wanna remake my life, like you have. How do I do that?
ALICIA: Well it would've helped if you hadn't killed someone.
KILLER: Oops. I can't change the past, can I? Once a bad person, always a bad person.
The camera pans on Kalinda's face, and you know she's thinking about herself and Alicia—that unlike Alicia, who painstakingly remade her life after the storm, she’s a bad person; once a bad person, always a bad person. Or even last episode's 'I haven't changed'—that is to say, 'I haven't become a better person. A good person like you.' It's very clear why Kalinda could never bring herself to tell Alicia about her and Peter—how could she? How could she speak of something like that, something that she did, to Alicia? It's not unlike Will's arc this season, where Will has the same problem—how can he confide in Alicia when it means telling her of his past indiscretions?
It's not fair at all to Alicia, because it just assumes that she cannot handle such harsh truths without actually verifying if she can, but we also know why Will can’t—he can’t bear the thought of falling in her estimation. It precisely what Kalinda had also feared, and when her fears came true she was singularly incapable of expressing to Alicia how much anguish she had suffered because of it. I don't think Alicia really understands, even now—she didn’t see her break down in the elevator, or realise that depth of emotion behind a simple, 'unadorned' statement like, "I do that. It means nothing to me, I do that. Look, Alicia, I didn't know you. I'd never even seen a picture of you. To me you were the housewife. Then I met you, and I liked you, I liked working with you, I liked talking with you, I felt bad. I don't like feeling bad." And Kalinda simply lacks the skills to truly explain herself to Alicia in the way she can to Will with a simple, playful punch.
It's particularly interesting to think about in the light of Alicia's own arc this season, which is about being pulled down (at least a little bit) from the 'good' pedestal and coming face to face with her own indiscretions in her professional as well as her personal life. Since this season is finally going to explore Will's backstory, I want more on Kalinda and Will's shared history as well.
Will and Kalinda first have a truly intimate moment at the end of 2.20, with Will watching Alicia on the television and Kalinda declaring her love for Alicia—er, that is to say, urging Will to declare his love for Alicia,
Kalinda: You should tell her how fantastic she is. [Will snorts slightly at that]
Will: She knows. [camera pans to Kalinda's face]
Kalinda: You should tell her. People like to be told. [Will swivels around to look at her]
Will: You're in a weird mood.
Kalinda: Yeah, I am.
It's hard not to read the scene as Kalinda articulating, in her own way, how much she cares about Alicia, even when you take off your slash glasses. More importantly, it sets the tone for almost every Will and Kalinda heart-to-heart that will follow: the subject of conversation is frequently Alicia, with Kalinda encouraging Will to talk about his feelings about Alicia, to pursue what he wants with her. Kalinda sets the tone of the conversation, always shifting the focus back to Will when he occasionally pries, and Will lets her, with some friendly ribbing ("Suddenly this is about me?", 2.22) or an observation like (MY FAVOURITE) "At some point Kalinda, you're going to have to confide in someone." The latter is also in 2.22, shortly after Kalinda informs him that she's not leaving L&G, and after she rebuffs his attempts to clarify as to whether her decision to leave had anything to do with Alicia; the implication is clear—Will is willing to listen, should Kalinda choose to talk, although he's not going to demand that she talk now or push her in any way. He is willing to be a confidante, even if it is only to listen to Kalinda telling him how much she doesn't need a confidante ("No, I don't. You know what I discovered? I never have to confide in anyone."), that she's a ~lone wolf. On the surface it's just a rebuff and Kalinda being her usual closed-off self, but that's not it: it's a surprisingly emotional declaration, especially coming from Kalinda. It's an expression of her frustration with people and friendships, and the fact that she has screwed up something that meant so much to her. That she would make such an emotional declaration to Will at all is significant—it's why come S3 they're still fast friends, drinking together after work and talking about their feelings (well, mostly Will's). It's an easy friendship, with clearly a lot of history and firm faith that the other person has their back.
The last bit again is important, because both Will and Kalinda are the kind of people who put a lot of stock in 'having someone's back'. It is—and I'm not sure if I can express myself very clearly here—a certain kind of a 'bro' ethic, where words are given and kept and backs are watched and debts are paid and honoured. It's an integral part of who Will is (think, for instance, of his anger when his friend the judge was exposed in S1, or his entire Wednesday night basketball affair with his male buddies), in sharp contrast with his smooth, amoral lawyerly self (also integral to who he is). And on any other show, Will's 'bro' would be a man, but TGW isn't any other show and Kalinda isn't any other female character, embodying, frequently, character traits that would be ascribed to a male character (stoic, silent, ~mysterious with a ~past, and so on). Kalinda, of course, is less demonstrative (the fact that it's usually Will's feelings that get discussed is one of the things I love best about their friendship), but all you have to do is consider a scene like the one in 3.08, where Kalinda urges Will to ask for her help,
Kalinda: Then use me.
Will: Thought you were an island these days. [note: referencing Kalinda's frustrated declaration in 2.22]
Kalinda: Hmm, no man is an island.
…
Kalinda: Okay, then ask for my help.
Will: [looks conflicted and then smiles prettily] I feel like hugging you.
Kalinda: No, just… Just ask for my help. [Will nods]
All Will has to do is ask, and Kalinda will have his back. It's in sharp contrast with her own I-will-use-your-feelings-for-me-and-throw-you-under-a-bus self (a prominent theme this season since it was Cary’s principal complaint against her), but that's precisely why their friendship works: they're very similar in that they both possess these oddly self-contradictory traits, and they understand each other. I think it's best demonstrated in that brilliant scene in the bar in 3.01, right after Kalinda claims that she’s 'fine' (when Will says that she needs a friend, or a dog),
Will: We're not like normal people, are we.
Kalinda: What are normal people like?
Will: Emotional.
Kalinda: You're emotional.
Will: No. Sometimes I'm in the middle of an emotion, and I just look at myself and realise, I’m not feeling anything. I just like acting like someone who feels something.
Kalinda: You wanna stop acting and actually feel?
Will: Yeah.
Kalinda: Yeah. [and then she punches him]
Will: Ow.
Kalinda: That's what it feels like.
Will is being emo about how emotionally stilted he is. He is having feelings about his lack of feelings. It's ridiculous, but knowing what we know of both Will and Kalinda, knowing that the playful punch is Kalinda's way of replying that actually feeling things for people instead of simulation hurts, it just works.
It's precisely the kind of thing Will cannot bring himself to tell Alicia—what if she doesn't understand? It's one of the many things he cannot bring himself to tell her, as we see in S3; as though Will fears Alicia's pure ears cannot bear such scurrilous talk. Kalinda is different. Kalinda is like him. Kalinda isn't going to judge him and break his heart.
It is actually quite unfair to Alicia, but that's another thing Will and Kalinda have in common: Alicia is their unexpected Achilles' heel. They're both slightly in awe of Alicia—her strength, her warmth, her passion, her moral compass. What they see as her 'goodness', this incredible, unattainable thing they cannot possibly hope to possess (or even want, on most days). This was evident in the Alicia/Kalinda break-up arc; in 2.18, for instance, where Alicia has that telephone conversation with the psycho murderer and Kalinda is listening in,
KILLER: I wanna remake my life, like you have. How do I do that?
ALICIA: Well it would've helped if you hadn't killed someone.
KILLER: Oops. I can't change the past, can I? Once a bad person, always a bad person.
The camera pans on Kalinda's face, and you know she's thinking about herself and Alicia—that unlike Alicia, who painstakingly remade her life after the storm, she’s a bad person; once a bad person, always a bad person. Or even last episode's 'I haven't changed'—that is to say, 'I haven't become a better person. A good person like you.' It's very clear why Kalinda could never bring herself to tell Alicia about her and Peter—how could she? How could she speak of something like that, something that she did, to Alicia? It's not unlike Will's arc this season, where Will has the same problem—how can he confide in Alicia when it means telling her of his past indiscretions?
It's not fair at all to Alicia, because it just assumes that she cannot handle such harsh truths without actually verifying if she can, but we also know why Will can’t—he can’t bear the thought of falling in her estimation. It precisely what Kalinda had also feared, and when her fears came true she was singularly incapable of expressing to Alicia how much anguish she had suffered because of it. I don't think Alicia really understands, even now—she didn’t see her break down in the elevator, or realise that depth of emotion behind a simple, 'unadorned' statement like, "I do that. It means nothing to me, I do that. Look, Alicia, I didn't know you. I'd never even seen a picture of you. To me you were the housewife. Then I met you, and I liked you, I liked working with you, I liked talking with you, I felt bad. I don't like feeling bad." And Kalinda simply lacks the skills to truly explain herself to Alicia in the way she can to Will with a simple, playful punch.
It's particularly interesting to think about in the light of Alicia's own arc this season, which is about being pulled down (at least a little bit) from the 'good' pedestal and coming face to face with her own indiscretions in her professional as well as her personal life. Since this season is finally going to explore Will's backstory, I want more on Kalinda and Will's shared history as well.
