(no subject)

[swatkat]

hv wtchd ep. fun. drwning in wrk - hlp!

Okay, I actually contemplated writing this entire post in SMS-speak, but I have now decided to spare you the trauma and write something brief instead on the obvious.

* I posted part of this in topaz_eyes's journal:

House: Cuddy…you see the world as it is and you see the world as it could be. What you don’t see is what everybody else sees. The giant, gaping chasm in between.

Cuddy: House, I’m not naïve. I realize—

House: If you did, you never would have hired me.
...
House: You’re not happy unless things are just right. Which means two things. You’re a good boss. And you’ll never be happy.

(2.3, Humpty Dumpty)

Add to this the title 'Let Them Eat Cake', and the reference to Marie Antoinette. I'm not happy she fell for the idea of a relationship with House, because she knows better, she has shown in the previous episodes that she knows better and she certainly deserves better than have her heart broken over House (I mean, the last look was 'I can't believe I fell for that, stupid'). But she did, and it makes sense with her character. We already know that House is a big scaredy cat and we already know House is the King of Mixed Signals and Emotional Ill-Health - but Cuddy is not very brave, either. In fact, she kind of sucks at relationships and emotional issues, things she cannot control, and that she put herself out there was an incredibly brave step on her part (tempered, of course, by a healthy dose of her vision of the 'world as it could be' - delusion, if you will; prompted, probably, by the melodrama in her life, her fear of loss esp. post 'Joy' and 'Last Resort', by Wilson's 'you can make it work!', by House's mixed signals, by the fact that she wants it), given her history of giving up on things and avoiding pain when they scare her (5.06: 'You're giving up.').

If House wants Cuddy, he's going to have to do something about it himself because she's not, the way she's now, going to drag him down the pool with his clothes on - at best, she will tug at his hand. And she's already done that.

* House's scene with Taub: why? Is he thinking about relationships and commitment? Those are some serious terms. Why the Big Romantic Gesture/Apology?

* Office thing was Stupid Plot Contrivance. Will make do, however.

* ♥ Wilson.

* House as Chaos Magnet. Hmm. Think later.

* Thirteen's story brought a lump in my throat. ♥

* There is much to be said about CCF and how they've grown. MUCH. Later.

* ♥ Taub.

* Poor baby Kutner.

* The singing patient was FTW! I couldn't stop giggling after that.

* I also liked the POTW.

Comments

[shutterbug-12.livejournal.com]

I know I'm going to ramble and repeat myself at some point, so I apologize in advance.

You're definitely right that Cuddy's been through very hard times lately, and would have an emotional toll, but Cuddy's been falling victim to her own idealizations rather than thinking more rationally (which people are capable of doing in really bad situations), and we know that she's capable of doing both. But the fact that she's only been looking at an ideal life for herself has been making things worse, and only she can choose to see it differently.

she's trying to cling to him for some kind of emotional support, even when in the back of her head she knows she can't get it. And that's what I'm criticizing her for, mostly. Not that she wants emotional support (who wouldn't, really?) but that she's turning to House for it, and ignoring the part of her mind that's telling her not to. Wilson would be a much better person for this kind of support, especially considering the loss he's experienced, but Cuddy is disregarding all of the warning signs in her brain and seems to be seeing what she wants to see, and not what is actually there.

I don't know, I think it's blameworthy in a sense, since part of the reason why she's found herself in this mess is because of her own idealizations. Even in regards to her desire for a baby, she's idealizing the situation. She's been disregarding the reality of a choice like that, thinking she can have the same professional life she has plus a baby, and it was something House was trying to remind her of throughout that whole episode. She's looking for an ideal sort of life, almost as though she wants all of her big dreams to come true, but doesn't realize that life really doesn't work like that for most people. She wants an important job that will give her respect. She wants romance, and a relationship with someone who can give her emotional support, who can be intimate with her, and express his feelings to her (which, I think has a lot to do with her self-esteem issues). She wants a baby. And while those, on the surface, may not seem like unattainable goals, Cuddy only seems to want the best, picture-perfect versions of them--the world as it could be--and I think House was right that, because she wants all of it in that way, it makes it unattainable and she'll never be happy.

I suppose the way someone is isn't really their fault. It's not really House's fault that he is the way he is; it's a combination of traits that have developed over time. So I guess I have to say that Cuddy, then, isn't blameworthy for being that way. But, in addition to seeing the world the way it could be for her, she also has the ability to see it how it is, and she's hasn't been doing that much for a long time. That is something I feel is more blameworthy. She CAN see things rationally, she's capable of it, but she's been falling into her own trap of seeing her own idealized versions of it. And I think this past episode really brought that out in a painful way. I think she'd be better off looking at the world realistically, because that would help save her the trouble of becoming an emotional doormat and from being burned like that.

[swatkat24.livejournal.com]

She's been disregarding the reality of a choice like that, thinking she can have the same professional life she has plus a baby, and it was something House was trying to remind her of throughout that whole episode

See, again I disagree - nothing House said in that episode was about Cuddy or what is right for her or for her child. It was about him. It is not entirely unrealistic for a woman in her position to have children. It's unrealistic for her to imagine that she can care for a child the way a stay-at-home mom or even one in a slightly less demanding position than hers, that she can do without nannies and daycare and cutting down on her work regime - but I saw no indication that Cuddy imagined anything like that.

and she's hasn't been doing that much for a long time

How long? :)

[shutterbug-12.livejournal.com]

I think House's comment in the operating room was the most solid reminder that her two lives--personal-baby life and professional--would clash. "Mommy's got to go to work." That was a big splash of reality to me.

I also think a lot of what House did was about himself, but in convincing her of the reality of her situation, he would bring to light how difficult it would be, how ill-prepared she was for it, and provoke her to chose one of the more realistic options over the other. Since he felt sure that Cuddy felt that she wasn't ready to be a mother, Cuddy would chose her profession and, in so doing chose the life that included him, and not a baby.

[swatkat24.livejournal.com]

But to repeat myself, there was no indication that Cuddy *wasn't* aware of it. She has been trying for this the past two years - I don't see why we must follow House's default 'everything that can wrong *will* go wrong' and not believe that she had thought about the pros and cons before taking the decision of having a child. In fact, her statement to Becca, almost cautionary, 'This changes everything' indicates that she *did* know what she was taking on. And Cuddy is nothing if not a responsible person.

Which is *why* she chose the baby over House. And then lost it. Sigh.

[shutterbug-12.livejournal.com]

Sure, but we have no proof that she was, either. We don't know what her plans were for child care, and even though she's a smart lady, it seemed like she wanted to have a child for herself and care for this child herself and, at the same time, had made no plans, as far as we know, for anyone to take over her position at the hospital (even temporarily, and if Cuddy was responsible, then she'd be sure to give herself more than two weeks to select a suitable person for the job). It just seems to me that she was going to attempt to juggle baby and job alone, and that signaled an unrealistic kind of desire to me.

[swatkat24.livejournal.com]

But the show doesn't show us things like that! It can't! Because the show isn't about Cuddy's childcare plans, but about House's response to Cuddy's plan to adopt a baby. Your position is your position, of course, but I honestly don't see the basis for it. Since I tend to give Cuddy the benefit of the doubt on most occasions (and given my own upbringing - was brought up by two very busy working people), I'm going to be on the other side on this debate. *g*

[shutterbug-12.livejournal.com]

And you know, that has turned into a reason why I wouldn't mind seeing Cuddy actually get a baby, so these questions could be answered. (And, really, you're right, and I'm glad the show doesn't show us that if it's not needed and doesn't relate to House, because I'll always say the show should stay about him more than anyone else.) But, I suppose because the show doesn't answer these questions, we can't really know for sure, but to save ourselves from debating in circles, I'm going to call a "agree to disagree" here. I can see the validity of your point, and I can see mine, too. If only the show answered these very important meaningful questions.

[topaz-eyes.livejournal.com]

Yes, this. She wants it all, but because of her eternal optimism (see House's comment in "Humpty Dumpty") she hadn't learned she can't have it all, until House burned her. Now she is learning, slowly and painfully.

Now, as a woman, I might venture to say that we all (women and men, but women especially) fall for the ideal, let our emotions and hormones govern our better sense. Cuddy reflects that strongest, at least for now. Let's just say I love that want/need theme because yeah, it's so true. :-)

[swatkat24.livejournal.com]

Now she is learning, slowly and painfully.

We are often told, that as women, we can have it all. It *doesn't* have to be all home or all work, but everything. I wonder if the show is trying to do something with that?