(no subject)

[swatkat]

There was this fannish kinks post on metafandom some time ago which I can't find the link to right now, but I want to play. So. My bullet-proof pairing kinks.

* You annoy me and I hate you. Except that I also kinda like you and you get me all hot and bothered.

* I hate you and I want to kill you. Also, you get me all hot and bothered.

* I am your employer/teacher/mentor/you get the drift and this is so wrong (and oh-so-right).
OR
I am your employee/student/trainee/whatever and this is so wrong (and oh-so-right).

* I am secretly pining for you since forever but let's just pretend to be friends anyway.

* I am secretly pining for you since forever but I'm completely oblivious to the fact that I am.

* We both want a person we can never have. The same person, actually. Remedy? Pathetic phantom threesome sex.
Corollary: Telling stories about someone else during sex (phantom threesome). Stolen from queenzulu's list.

* I love you and I love him/her. Why bother with the love triangle thing when you can have a threesome?

ETA:

* Why does everyone think we're in love? Just because we spend all our time together and are closer to each other than anyone else and touch a lot doesn't mean we're sleeping togeth--oh. Wait. Stolen from pocky_slash's list.

* The sarcastic banter is just a cover for the hot sex. Stolen from pocky_slash's list.

* Pining. Stolen from lyras's list.

* Sex that doesn't cure loneliness--bittersweet. Stolen from queenzulu's list.

* *We work with each other with perfect coordination and excellent banter, and will turn to each other for support against outside threats. Stolen from thirdblindmouse's list.

*We fight with each other with perfect coordination and excellent banter, and will turn to each other for support against outside threats. Stolen from thirdblindmouse's list.




Show me yours?

Comments

[pocky_slash.livejournal.com]

Why does everyone think we're in love? Just because we spend all our time together and are closer to each other than anyone else and touch a lot doesn't mean we're sleeping togeth--oh. Wait.

There's no one else in the world I care about more than you, and if that leads to something sexual, than so be it. It's not like I could be with anyone else anyway, I'm so caught up in you.

The sarcastic banter is just a cover for the hot sex.

Interestingly enough, I really don't like the first three or four kinks on your list. (Although I am a fan of "Let's just pretend to be friends even though I am pining" and "I'm oblivious to my pining.") Hate!sex is a mystery to me, really.

[swatkat24.livejournal.com]

Ah, the joys of hate!sex and May/December pairings! The HP fandom corrupted me in that respect (the Snape/student pairings, the Lupin/student pairings, the Gryffindor/Slytherin pairings...), and then there was the Buffyverse (Buffy/Faith! Angel/Spike!). I can't help it, it's just... *gets all hot and bothered again*

Why does everyone think we're in love? Just because we spend all our time together and are closer to each other than anyone else and touch a lot doesn't mean we're sleeping togeth--oh. Wait.

Ooh, another one of mine! The 'They're *SO* doing it (and if they aren't, they damn well should be)' couples! This goes very well with the I love you but I'm oblivious and I love you but let's pretend I don't. *g*

There's no one else in the world I care about more than you, and if that leads to something sexual, than so be it. It's not like I could be with anyone else anyway, I'm so caught up in you.

I like this best with love triangles, leading to lonely pathetic phantom threesomes.

The sarcastic banter is just a cover for the hot sex.

Oh yes. Oh yes. Banter and eye!sex.

[zulu]

Phone sex.

Telepathic sex.

Telling stories about someone else during sex (phantom threesome).

Sex that doesn't cure loneliness--bittersweet.

Definitely "you annoy me, but..."

[swatkat24.livejournal.com]

Phone sex has never been one of my things. I like the idea of touching and seeing - though I suppose the not-touching and not-seeing is what makes phone sex so hot.

Telling stories about someone else during sex (phantom threesome).

Sex that doesn't cure loneliness--bittersweet.

A big word to both of these. The last one is SO House/Wilson. And House/Cuddy. And Wilson/Cuddy. Guh.

[zulu]

I've rarely seen phone sex done well, but when it is--woooeeee! I am all over that.

[swatkat24.livejournal.com]

somniesperus's She Likes a Prizefight comes to mind. It has a lovely Andy/Miranda phone sex scene. You have read it, yes?

[swatkat24.livejournal.com]

Strangely, I'm all for innocent phone conversations that were never meant to *be* phone sex (or they were, but in an oblique sarcastic banter-y way) leaving you all hot and bothered.

[lyras.livejournal.com]

Friends who've been friends for ever and ever but sekritly pining for one another, and when they get together it makes all the readers (but not the characters) cry.

Actually, pining generally. Especially if the pinee is dead. Er...

[swatkat24.livejournal.com]

Pining! Yay! Let me tell you a secret - every now and then, I actually go *looking* for pining stories. Stories where they pine and pine till the other person realises what's happening. Stories where they pine and pine and keep pining.

[alchemine.livejournal.com]

Oooh, I like pining too. Especially with best friends/close colleagues/both. *swoon*

[swatkat24.livejournal.com]

Colleagues with a dash of professional rivalry... Guh..

[thirdblindmouse.livejournal.com]

*We work with each other with perfect coordination and excellent banter, and will turn to each other for support against outside threats.

*We fight with each other with perfect coordination and excellent banter, and will turn to each other for support against outside threats.

*I want you but can never have you -- mostly because I'd never admit aloud to wanting to have you.

*Happy threesome time!

[swatkat24.livejournal.com]

E. All of the above!

[thirdblindmouse.livejournal.com]

Yes!

The second one is my answer to hate!sex. Hate makes me sad, so the "We're enemies? I knew I was forgetting something..." pairings are precisely my kink. That pattern and the coworkers pattern cover 90% of my 'ships.

[swatkat24.livejournal.com]

Hee. The best kind of hate!sex is where the partners slowly realise that OMG I kinda like this person, so they hate them even more, and like them even more, and hate them some more. And meanwhile, there's great sex.

[plazmah.livejournal.com]

My bullet-proof kink: Our friends/coworkers/society/the establishment would not approve of our relationship, so the sex must be secret and hot.

[swatkat24.livejournal.com]

OMG yes. This brings up fond memories of my La Femme Nikita days... *happy sigh*

[plazmah.livejournal.com]

Seriously, nothing beats an "us versus THE WORLD" pairing. *sigh*

[hihoplastic.livejournal.com]

Random (sorta): Did you drop out of house_bigbang??? My soul will be eternally ruined if this is so, just fyi. :(

Also: We have sex with our eyes. And occasionally sniff one another in public.

[swatkat24.livejournal.com]

I did. I did not plan it well, did not pace myself well, and now the story refuses to be written. *facepalm*

We have sex with our eyes. And occasionally sniff one another in public.

Hee. I know that ship.

[hihoplastic.livejournal.com]

:( My soul is so sad now. It weeps. Truly! And I'm not just saying that so that you'll make it up to me by writing some Cuddyfic. Just a little? Pretty please? o.o

Really: begging is not below me. ^^

Oh, our ship. I miss the eye-sex. And the sniffing. And the ass-grabbing. MELODRAMATIC SIGH.

But apparently, there are super big spoilers! for the upcoming episode? I don't know what they are, but apparently it's worthy of 100+ comments on house_daily. Intriguing....

[swatkat24.livejournal.com]

:( My soul is so sad now. It weeps. Truly! And I'm not just saying that so that you'll make it up to me by writing some Cuddyfic. Just a little? Pretty please? o.o

I will! I will!

There *is* a spoiler, and it made me full of glee. Not sure about you though - since you believe in remaining spoilerfree, you'll just have to hold out some more. *evil grin*

Bulletproof, yeah.

[orange-crushed.livejournal.com]

The sarcastic banter is just a cover for the hot sex.

We work with each other with perfect coordination and excellent banter, and will turn to each other for support against outside threats./We fight with each other with perfect coordination and excellent banter, and will turn to each other for support against outside threats.

OMG GUH, yes. I'm with you there. Here are mine:

"I'm not perfect- in fact, I'm not particularly good- but you make me better."

and

"In our fucked-up world, you're the only thing that makes sense."

Re: Bulletproof, yeah.

[swatkat24.livejournal.com]

OMG yes! Desperate, fucked up pairings FTW.